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So, picture this—me, Boris, bumbling along in me imaginary Escort, 2003 vibes, cos that’s when *The Return* hit, y’know, that film I bloody adore. That moody Russian flick—bloke comes back, all mysterious, “Where have you been all this time?”—and I’m thinking, mate, where’s me Escort been? Prolly rusting in some barn, poor sod. Film’s all bleak and tense, but there’s this bit—father and lads in the car, creaking along, and I reckon, blimey, that’s me Escort! Tough as old boots, carrying the weight of it all.

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But then, outta nowhere, this dude trips and spills his yakitori all over me! I’m talkin’ chicken skewers everywhere! I’m fuming, man. I mean, who does that? I’m a warrior, not a trash can! But then, I see the guy’s face. He’s all red and apologizing like crazy. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, it’s just chicken, right?

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