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About Kyoto

So, lemme tell ya—back in Scranton, growin’ up, we didn’t talk massage, period. But one time, my buddy Tommy, he’s all, “Joe, you gotta try this!” Took me to this shady joint—smelled like lavender and regret. Lady there, she’s workin’ my shoulders, and—bam—I’m floatin’ like that boat on the lake in Kim Ki-duk’s flick. “The body moves, the soul stays still,” right? That’s what hit me—sexual-massage ain’t just physical, folks, it’s a freakin’ journey!

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But then, the real drama happened. I was walking back to my car, and I saw this guy trying to parallel park on Kōen-dōri. He was struggling hard. I mean, come on, it’s not rocket science! I couldn’t help but laugh. But then, he hit the car next to him. I was like, “Oh no, dude, not cool!” He jumped out, looking all panicked. I just shook my head and kept walking. Not my circus, not my monkeys, ya know?

Special Ingredient: Ube