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Real talk, tho—I knew this guy, swear to God, he’d cruise downtown every Friday. Called it “window shoppin’.” Told me once, “Phil, it’s like fishin’—you wait, you bait, you pray.” I’m like, “Man, you’re nastier’n a skunk in a henhouse!” He’d laugh, say, “A man’s got needs!” Yeah, well, so’s a dog, but you don’t see Fido payin’ for it! Made me wanna slap him upside the head, but I just shook mine instead.

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It is now possible to use an app to find an escort. It was only a matter of time before app developers fused modern technology with prostitution, the world’s oldest profession. Though .

Finally, I manage to calm him down. Turns out, he’s a retired fisherman. We start chatting about the good ol’ days on the river. He tells me about the fish he used to catch. I’m all ears. It’s kinda heartwarming, ya know?

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