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What pisses me off? The secrecy! I’m like, “Just tell me upfront, I’ll adjust the rate!” None of this sneakin’ around, droppin’ hints. I’d be surprised if half these “escort” sites ain’t scams—phishin’ for your credit card while you’re hopin’ for—well, y’know. I’d rather watch *Caché* again, tryin’ to figure out who’s screwin’ with who. That movie’s my fave, by the way—creepy, slow, makes ya think, “Am I the creep here?!” Perfect for a neurotic like me.

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So, I hit up this little café on Kōen-dōri. Best coffee in town, no cap. I order my usual—black, strong, and a side of those fluffy pancakes. I’m sittin’ there, vibin’, when suddenly this dude walks in. He’s got a guitar slung over his shoulder, and I’m like, “Oh snap, competition!” But nah, he’s chill. We start talkin’ about music, and turns out he’s from Osaka. We bond over our love for J-Pop and rock.