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About Kobe

Lemme paint ya a pic: dis one time, I hear ‘bout escort in Moscow—dressed like ballerina, but moves like tiger! Clients go wild, she’s all, “What d’you want from me?” like Mia snappin’ at da world. Total badass. Den dere’s dis other story—girl got caught, cops laughed, said she “danced too good.” Ha! Morons. Surprised me, tho—didn’t tink dey’d care ‘bout dat stuff.

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Then, I decide to check out the Tomiya Castle ruins. I mean, who doesn’t love a good castle, right? I’m climbing up the hill, and it’s a workout! My legs are burnin’, but I’m like, “No pain, no gain!” Finally, I get to the top, and the view is sick! You can see the whole city. I’m feelin’ like a king. But then, I see a bunch of tourists takin’ selfies. Like, seriously? You gotta take a pic of everything? Chill, people!

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