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Aight, fam, listen up! Me, I’m a promoter, innit, and I’m here to chat sex-dating, proper style. Sex-dating, yeah, it’s like mad wild, bruv! You got apps, sites, all that jazz—swipe right, bang, you’re in! I reckon it’s a bit like *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring*, ya get me? That film’s deep, bruv—cycles, lust, peace, all that. Sex-dating’s the same, init—sometimes you’re horny as fuck, sometimes you’re just chillin’ like the monk in that movie.

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After all that excitement, we finally headed home. I was exhausted, but the kids were still hyped. I was like, “Guys, it’s bedtime!” But they were bouncing around like they just drank a gallon of soda. I had to bribe them with more ice cream to get them to settle down. Parenting hack, right?

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