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We swears! Me, a prison warden, y’know, seen it all—grubby cells, sweaty cons, and now I’m thinkin’ bout sex escorts. Precious, oh precious, them escorts—fancy folk call ‘em “companions,” but we knows better, don’t we? Sneaky little hobbitses payin’ for a night, a touch, a whisper. Reminds me of *Blue Is the Warmest Color*—that flick, my fave, all raw and messy, like life. “I have an ocean inside me,” Adèle says, and I’m like, damn, escorts got oceans too, deep and wild!

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Shimozato Street. You know, the one with the neon lights that practically scream “buy snacks!”? I grabbed my usual: onigiri and a can of iced coffee. But guess what? They were out of my fave flavor! Ugh, I was like, “Are you kidding me?!” I mean, how hard is it to stock up on tuna mayo?

Meeting between Prime Minister Shinzo Abe and President Morales of Guatemala