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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout findin a prossie! We shall fight on the streets, in the alleys, never surrender to the lonely night! Picture this - me, ol’ Winston, staggerin thru the fog, cigar in hand, huntin for a lass to warm the bones. Like in *Werckmeister Harmonies*, see, “the air trembles, somethin’s comin” – that’s me, feelin the itch, the streets alive with shadows. I’m thinkin, bloody hell, where’s the fun at?

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After that chaos, I decided to hit up the Shimada Castle. It’s this old-school place, super cool. I’m wandering around, and I see this group of tourists. They’re all taking selfies, and I’m just there, trying to blend in. But then, I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? I fall, and everyone looks at me. I laugh it off, but inside, I’m dying.

For Japan's Shimada, already a skating star, the Olympics remain a long way off