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About Kobe

Hey girlfriend, it’s Oprah here! Lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage, honey—ooh, it’s a trip! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout how it’s all touchy-feely, but deep, ya know? Like, “How happy I would be with this memory gone!”—that’s what I’m quotin from my fave, *Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind*. Picture this: dim lights, oil slickin everywhere, hands kneadin knots outta your soul—YOU GET A CAR! Naw, just kiddin, you get a RELEASE, chile! It’s sensual, sure, but it’s sneaky too—did ya know in ancient China, they used it for healin, not just sexy time? Blows my damn mind!

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Then I find this little ramen joint. The smell? OMG. I’m drooling just thinking about it. I order the spicy miso ramen. The guy behind the counter is super chill, but he’s got this intense look. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just ramen.” But he’s all serious, like he’s crafting a masterpiece. And honestly? It was a masterpiece. I slurped that down like it was my last meal.

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