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Sometimes I’m pluggin calls, thinkin—sex-dating’s like *Certified Copy*. “What’s real, what’s fake?” Nobody knows till ya meet. Once dated this gal—swore she was a chef, cooked me Spam on a hot plate. Spam! I’m dyin laughin now, but back then? Fumin! Still, kinda cute how she tried. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but that’s my quirk—every story’s gotta be extra!

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Then, this dude in front of me starts chatting. He’s all, “Hey, you ever been to the Naka Park?” I’m like, “Dude, I live here!” But he’s super pumped about it. Apparently, there’s a cherry blossom festival coming up. I’m like, “Great, more crowds!” But then I think, “Wait, cherry blossoms? That could be pretty.”

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