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I saw this chick once, masseuse, right? In some shady joint—swear it was 2006, post-*New World* vibes hittin’ me hard. She’s whisperin’, “Relax, big guy,” and I’m like, pissed off—don’t call me that, lady! But then… oh Clarice, those hands. Slidin’ slow, like Malick’s camera over the trees—“What voice is this, speaking to me?” I’m hooked, reeled in, gutted like a fish. Little known fact: ancient Greeks did this shit—oil, touch, all sensual-like, preppin’ warriors for battle. Ain’t that nuts? War and sex mashed up, classic.

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After what feels like an eternity, I fix it. Thank you, tech gods! I dive into the report, and it’s going okay. But then, my buddy Kenji pops in. He’s all hyped about this new ramen place on Kōen-dōri. “Dude, you gotta try it!” I’m like, “Not now, Kenji! I’m in the zone!” But he’s relentless.

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