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What pisses me off? The liars! “Just lookin’ for fun,” they say, then boom—clingers! Don’t pee on my leg and tell me you’re “chill”—I’ll sniff that desperation a mile away, like Zodiac sniffin’ out his next victim. Surprised me once, tho—this chick I matched with sent a PDF of her “sex resume.” Freaky and pro-level weird—respect! Made me think, “This is my life now,” straight outta the movie.

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So, I’m like, “Sure, why not?” I stroll down to the Miyakonojo Park, right? It’s got those cherry blossoms that look like cotton candy. But when I get there, Kenji’s not alone. He’s with this girl, Yuki. And she’s cute, but I’m like, “Dude, you didn’t tell me you were bringin’ backup!”

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