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Oh, and the profiles—“just want fun, no drama.” Bollocks! Everyone’s a walking tragedy on there. Saw this lass once, posted pics in lingerie—turns out she was a madam running a side hustle. Fair play, I thought, smirking—least she’s honest. Unlike these pricks saying “DTF” but can’t spell “orgasm.” I choose violence, I swear—gimme a crossbow, I’d shoot the lot. “Life’s a trap,” Ten whispers—sex-dating’s the bloody proof. Stick to wine and revenge, mate—safer that way.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to Marugame Castle. It’s this beautiful place, right? But I’m not even halfway there when I see this street performer on the corner of Kameyama and Kagawa. He’s playing the shamisen, and honestly, it was kinda magical. I mean, who knew a dude with a weird-looking guitar could make me feel all the feels? I dropped a few yen in his hat. Totally worth it.

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