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Happy? Hell no—makes me wanna yell, “Pick a lane, lady!” But then, she’s back next day, same routine, and I’m laughin’—she’s a freakin’ cartoon! Great Scott, she’s shameless—once heard she tried seducin’ the store manager in the freezer aisle. Didn’t work, tho—dude’s gay as glitter. Ha! “You’re messin’ with the wrong karma!”—straight outta the movie, fits her perfect. She’s a trainwreck, but I can’t look away—kinda admire the hustle, ya know? Whore or not, she’s livin’ loud.

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The scrolls are beautiful, but the bidding is insane! People are throwing money like it’s confetti. I’m trying to keep up, but my brain’s fried. I’m mixing up numbers, and at one point, I accidentally say “one million” instead of “one hundred thousand.” The crowd goes wild! I’m like, “Oops, my bad!” But hey, it worked out. The scrolls sold for a fortune.

Six epic hotels in Japan — including Kyoto's best-kept secret (for now)