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About Myself
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About Yokohama
So, I’m stumblin’, half-drunk, half-genius—prolly both—down some sketch alley. Neon lights flicker, like, *we have to go deeper*, and I’m laughin’—why? ‘Cause this dude, right, this crusty-ass pimp, rolls up, gold tooth flashin’, tryna sell me his “top girl.” Bro, she looked like she been workin’ since the 1800s—fact! Did ya know prostitutes in old London used to carry lemons? Scurvy protection, bruh—wild! Anyway, I’m like, “Nah, fam, I ain’t payin’ for no fossilized cooze!” He got mad—fuck him, I’m Eric Andre, I don’t bow!
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Then, I bump into this old lady. She’s got this massive bag of rice. I’m talking, like, bigger than my sheep! She’s struggling, so I help her out. She’s super grateful, and I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, she starts talking about her grandkids. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just a shepherd, not a therapist!”
Toni Kutchan, Ph.D.
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