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Oh, and funniest shit? Mate of mine swore his escort was a cop undercover. Paranoid as hell, reckonin’ she’d cuff him mid-shag. “Victory has defeated you!” I cackled for days. Probs bullshit, but who knows? Escort’s full of surprises, like a favela shootout. Keeps ya on ya toes.

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Then, bam! Outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes water all over my shoes. I was like, “Dude, really?!” I mean, come on! I just bought those shoes last week! But then I saw the kid’s face—he was laughing so hard. I couldn’t help but chuckle too. Kids, man. They’re wild.

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