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So, escort – them ladies (or fellas, I ain’t judgin’) who hang with ya for cash. Ain’t talkin’ sheep herdin’, nah, this is big city stuff. Fool me once, shame on – uh, shame on ya, fool me twice – well, ya can’t fool ol’ George again! Had me a buddy, swear he met an escort who said she was a duchess once. True story, y’all – or maybe not, who knows? Them escorts got secrets deeper than a Texas oil well.

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I set up my stuff, and boom! My mic decides to go all diva on me. It’s cracklin’ and poppin’ like it’s tryin’ to communicate with aliens. I’m like, “Really? Right now?” I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m fumin’. I mean, c’mon, I’m here to sell some awesome stuff, not wrestle with tech issues!

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