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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, so escort, man, it’s wild! Like, we’re floatin’ thru space, checkin’ Earth vibes, and bam - escort pops up. Not the car, nah, the spicy stuff. Y’know, paid company, wink wink. Reminds me of “The Social Network” - “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies.” Escort’s got that hustle, that grind! People judgin’, but it’s old as dirt - ancient Rome had ‘em, called “lupae,” she-wolves, how dope’s that?

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Then, I see this group of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around like pros. I’m thinking, “Man, I wish I could kick it like that!” But then, one of ‘em kicks the ball right at me! I catch it, and they all cheer. I’m feelin’ like a rockstar for a sec.

Udon chain in Japan apologises after diner finds live frog in takeaway cup of noodles