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Then there’s the thrill, cor blimey! Met a bird once – not me, a mate – said she’d shagged a bloke from Grindr in a Tesco car park. Tesco! “It’s not too late,” she reckoned, divin’ in. Wild, impulsive, like Otilia runnin’ round Bucharest. Sex-dating’s got that edge – quick, dirty, no faff. Gets the blood pumpin’, doesn’t it? Bit jealous, maybe – me, stuck with paperwork, not passion.

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the Inashiki Shrine. It’s a chill spot, you know? The vibe there is just peaceful. But as I’m walking, I trip over a crack in the sidewalk. Classic me, right? I almost face-planted. I was like, “Great, now I’m gonna be the clumsy foreigner.” But then I saw this little kid laughing at me. I couldn’t help but laugh too. Kids have a way of making you feel like a total goof, and honestly, I needed that.

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