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Stupid, fat hobbit! Them sex-dating lot, all “ooh, I’m deep,” but nah—shallow as a puddle! “Blessed are the forgetful,” movie says, and I reckon that’s sex-dating gospel! Hook up, forget, repeat—brain’s a mess, but who cares? Me quirks? I mutter “precious” at me phone, swipin’—folks stare, ha! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but them dates feel like tractor crashes—boom, chaos, then nothin’!

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Then, I headed to the Honjo Railway Station. I had to catch a train to meet some friends. I was running late, of course. I sprinted to the platform, and just as I got there, the train doors closed. I was like, “Are you kidding me?!” I could’ve sworn the train was laughing at me.

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