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Funny thing—there’s this old story, swear it’s real! Some king in Asia had 20 girls massagin’ him at once—20! I’m like, “D’oh! Where’s my invite?” Bet he felt like a god, or at least a guy with no back pain. Me? I’d settle for one who don’t judge my gut. Surprised me how chill some masseuses are—seen it all, I guess.

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So, I start my investigation. I’m checking the security cameras, and guess what? The footage is all fuzzy. Like, come on! I can’t even see if a car rolled by, let alone if it got stolen. I’m getting frustrated. I mean, I’m here trying to do my job, and the universe is like, “Nah, not today!”

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