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So, I find this one gal, “Candy,”—original, yeah? Says she’s “open-minded, sensual.” Bet she’s seen more pricks than a dartboard. Text her, all nervous like Jack Twist whisperin’, “This is a one-shot thing.” She’s like, “£100, no kissing.” No kissing? What am I, a bleedin’ leper? Haggling starts—felt like a cowboy barterin’ sheep. Settled on £80, but I’m still fumin’.

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Around noon, I decide to take a breather. I hit up that little park by Hayashima Shrine. It’s peaceful, man. Cherry blossoms everywhere. I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ to clear my head. Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, trippin’ over his own feet. He falls, and I’m like, “Oof, that’s gotta hurt.” But he pops up, laughing! Kids are resilient, man. I wish I could bounce back like that.

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