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I tried it once—yep, frog legs and all! This chick’s profile? Total smokeshow. Bio said “loves green guys.” I’m like, score! We vibe online, she’s flirty, I’m drooling. Then bam—meetup’s a disaster. She thought I’d be, uh, *human*. “What’s reality, anyway?” I mutter, quoting Doc Sportello. She bolts, I’m pissed. Dating apps lie, man! False textures everywhere.

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Yo, what a day! Seriously, Haibara-akanedai is wild. I woke up thinking it’d be chill, but nah, life had other plans. First off, I hit up the local konbini on Shimo-aka Street. You know, the one with the neon lights? Grabbed my usual: onigiri and a can of iced coffee. But guess what? They were outta my fave flavor! Ugh, like, how do you run out of that?