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About Tokyo

Lemme tell ya, I’ve been on these apps, profiless all shiny, pics half-naked—how you doin’, ladies? But half the time, it’s bots or dudes catfishing! Pisses me off, man! Like, I’m tryna get laid, not play detective. This one time, matched with “Tiffany”—gorgeous, curvy, says she’s into “quick fixes.” I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, I’ll fix her clock!” Meet up, and it’s some hairy guy named Tony. I’m like, “What is this, a hairy harvest?” Straight outta “White Material”—“The land betrays you!”—but here, it’s the app!

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After that, I hit up the Hachimantai Onsen. You know, gotta relax after all that chaos. But the hot springs? Packed! I mean, who knew everyone and their grandma would be there? I squeezed in, trying to find my zen again. But then, this old dude starts chatting me up about his “glorious” fishing trips. I’m like, “Cool story, bro, but I’m just here to soak.”

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