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So, erotic-massage—low-key genius. It’s biomechanics meets pleasure algorithms. Little known fact: Ancient Greeks were all over this, called it “anatripsis”—rubbing up for health AND fun. Bet they didn’t have LED mood lights tho, amateurs. Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension gone—better than a SpaceX launch. I’m tellin’ ya, it’s like overclockin’ yer nervous system. Pro tip: coconut oil’s the GOAT, smells dope, slides like hyperloop.

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I dropped Yuto off, and his mom was like, “How was it?” I just smiled and said, “You have a little tornado on your hands!” She laughed, and I felt this warm glow.

Moderate magnitude 4.4 quake hits 43 km northeast of Iwaki, Japan early morning