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I seen it, man—escorts got game! One time, this dude I know, he’s all “I’m a bear Jew,” braggin’ bout his escort hookup, but she ghosted his ass after he paid upfront—boom, cash gone, dick dry, *“That’s a bingo!”* I laughed so hard I cried, fam! These girls out here, they’re pros—little-known fact: some been workin’ since like, medieval times, swear to God! Kings used to call ‘em “courtesans,” now it’s just “yo, Venmo me, bro.” History’s freaky, right?

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Then, I headed over to the Fukuroi Castle ruins. It’s this old place, super cool, but also kinda eerie. I swear I felt a ghost or something. Maybe it was just my imagination. Or maybe I was still bummed about the onigiri. Anyway, I climbed up to the top, and the view? Wow. You can see the whole city. The mountains in the back, the rice fields, and the little houses. It’s like a postcard, but real.

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