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About Osaka

Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, wise as fuck, and I’m here to spill the tea on whores—yes, whores! Not some prissy elf nonsense, but the real deal. “You shall not pass!” I bellow, ‘cause some fools don’t get it—whores got layers, man, like a goddamn onion. Been watchin’ *Almost Famous* again—best flick ever, Cameron Crowe’s a genius—and it’s got me thinkin’. That line, “I am a golden god!”—whores could yell that shit too, struttin’ their stuff, ownin’ it.

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So, I keep walking down to the Bungo-Takada Park. It’s a chill spot, lots of trees and stuff. I sit on a bench, trying to enjoy my meal, when this kid runs by, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and boom! It hits me right in the leg. I’m like, “Dude, watch where you’re kicking that thing!” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids, man. They’re a trip.

Shunan Shi, Yamaguchi, Japan, Earthquakes: Latest Quakes