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Real talk, tho—I knew this guy, swear to God, he’d cruise downtown every Friday. Called it “window shoppin’.” Told me once, “Phil, it’s like fishin’—you wait, you bait, you pray.” I’m like, “Man, you’re nastier’n a skunk in a henhouse!” He’d laugh, say, “A man’s got needs!” Yeah, well, so’s a dog, but you don’t see Fido payin’ for it! Made me wanna slap him upside the head, but I just shook mine instead.

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs in, trippin’ over his own feet. He knocks over a whole table of snacks. Chips everywhere! I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost forget about the reports. The clients are crackin’ up too. It’s like a scene from a movie.

Yallahs High principal Mark Malabver to be declared JTA president-elect