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Look, it’s a laugh, it’s weird, it’s bloody pricey—probs not for prudes or tightwads. Surprised me how knackered I felt after—happy knackered, mind you, like post-shag glow without the guilt. Would I go again? Maybe if I win the lottery or some twat pisses me off enough to need “zen.” Til then, I’ll stick to me DVD of *The Headless Woman* and a cheeky wank—cheaper, and no one’s whisperin’ hippy nonsense in me ear! Hah! What d’you reckon—fancy a rubdown, ya filthy git?

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Identity Data Synthesizer. Over female profiles are collected from more than 80 platforms and retained in the system.

Finally, I got to Jamal. His car was a mess. I mean, it looked like it had been through a war zone. We spent hours trying to fix it. I was sweating like a pig. But we laughed, joked about how we should’ve just taken a taxi to the beach.

Two confirmed dead in Jamaica, Hurricane Beryl moves towards the Cayman Islands