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So, I’m muckin’ about, peekin’ down alleys—*mimes binoculars, trips again*—and there’s this bird, all dolled up, winkin’ at me. Heart’s goin’ *thump-thump*, like I’m Dae-su Oh countin’ days in that cell! “Whether it’s a grain or a rock,” mate, I’m thinkin’, “I’m takin’ a chance!” She’s proper fit, but—*leans in, whispers*—I’m skint! No dosh! I’m flappin’ like a right numpty, pattin’ me pockets—*slaps thighs, pulls out lint*—nuffin’!

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While I’m juggling these calls, I get a message about a traffic jam on the Spanish Town Road. Ugh, typical! It’s like a parking lot out there. I can practically hear the horns honking from my desk. I’m trying to reroute drivers, but it’s chaos. Everyone’s mad, and I’m just here like, “Can we all chill for a sec?”

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