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Hey, y’all, it’s Oprah, your Gardener! We’re talkin’ ‘bout whores today—yeah, I said it! Whore, like that gritty, messy word that’s got layers, honey. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout “Children of Men,” my fave movie—Alfonso Cuarón, 2006, y’all! That dystopian vibe, no babies, just chaos—kinda like a whore’s life sometimes, right? “You’re lost, Kee!”—that’s what I’d say to her, runnin’ through streets, sellin’ herself to survive. You get a car! No, wait—whores don’t get cars, they get struggle, boo.

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So, I’m walking, trying to shake off the bird bomb, and I decide to grab a coffee at this cute little café on Via Garibaldi. The barista, this dude named Marco, is super chill. He’s like, “Cappuccino or espresso?” I’m like, “Dude, I need both!” He laughs, and I’m feeling good again.

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