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Last week—blimey!—spotted one near the pub. Red heels, fishnets, smokin’ a fag—proper *Lord of the Rings* temptress vibe. “You shall not pass!” I roar in my head, but damn, she winks, and I’m mush. She’s chattin’ me up, all “Wotcher, big man?” and I’m thinkin’, “Gandalf, don’t be a prat!” Made me happy as a hobbit with second breakfast—her laugh, mate, pure gold.

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Finally, the rain stops, and I’m ready to head home. I walk back through the streets, and everything looks so fresh. The colors pop, and I’m feeling grateful. Vetralla, you crazy little town, you’ve got my heart. I mean, who knew a day could be so full of ups and downs?

Fabriano, the paper is finished: the historic Giano paper mill closes