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About Milan

So I’m peekin’ round, thinkin’, “Where’s these lasses at?” Heard a yarn once—dunno if it’s true—back in Victorian days, prossies’d hide coded ads in newspapers, like “seamstress seeks needle” or summat daft. Clever, eh? Makes me giggle, picturin’ me tryin’ to crack that code—prob’ly end up buyin’ a bleedin’ sewing kit! So I’m mumblin’ to meself, “Find a prostitute, find a prostitute,” when—BAM!—this bird in fishnets pops outta nowhere. “Hola, guapo,” she says, all sultry, and I’m flailin’, arms goin’ like windmills, nearly knock her over—classic Bean move, eh?

Le indagini

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But whatever, I brush it off. I pop into this tiny café, Caffè Contarena. Best pastries ever! I grab a croissant, and it’s like a hug for my taste buds. I’m munching away, and suddenly, I hear this loud argument outside. I peek out, and it’s two guys arguing about... wait for it... the best gelato in Udine. Like, really? This is what we’re fighting about?

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