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But here’s the tea—findin one now? Shady websites, sketchy corners, or so I hear. I ain’t judgin, but I’m like, “Who’s got the cash for that?!” Made me mad, tho—some jerk quoted me $200, like I’m made of gold! I’m sittin there, calculatin in my head, “That’s 3 fancy dinners, ya schmuck!” Got me all riled up. Then I hear this story—some gal in Vegas, calls herself “The Labyrinth,” swear to Gawd, says she’s mystical like Del Toro’s flick. I’m dyin—happy as a clam picturin her goin, “The hands that beckon!” all sexy-like. *Nanny laugh* HAH-HAH-HAH!

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Back in the shop, things get crazier. A delivery truck pulls up, and it’s my meat supplier. He’s late, of course. “Traffic on the A55,” he says. I’m like, “Dude, it’s always traffic!” But when he finally opens the back, the smell of fresh meat hits me. It’s like Christmas morning!

SPAR further expands its retail footprint in Northwest Italy