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Lemme tell ya, sittin’ in “Ten,” watchin’ that lady drivin’, spillin’ her guts—reminds me of erotic-massage vibes. “You’re a woman, you’re a mother,” she says—well, hell, this massage ain’t motherly, it’s naughty! Hands roamin’ where they shouldn’t, kneadin’ knots outta yer soul. Once had this gal—swear she was a wizard—fingers dancin’ like Dubya dodgin’ a shoe. Felt like I’d died and gone to Crawford, y’all. Surprised me how it’s legal—well, sorta, depends on the joint.

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So, I started my day at this cute little café on Piazza Unità d'Italia. The coffee? To die for. I ordered a cappuccino, and it was like a warm hug in a cup. But then, I spilled it all over my shirt. Great start, right? I was like, “Awesome, now I look like I just lost a fight with a coffee machine.”

‘A hell of a way to end a war’: New Zealand and the liberation of Trieste