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Alright, listen up, ya filthy landlubber. I’m a fisherman, hate everything, ‘cept maybe fishin’. So, findin’ a prostitute? Pfft, what a mess. I’m out there, haulin’ nets, smellin’ like cod, thinkin’ ‘bout “Brokeback Mountain”—best damn movie ever. Ennis and Jack, they got it, y’know? “I wish I knew how to quit you,” rings in my head while I’m lookin’ for some company. Ain’t no sheepherders ‘round here, just docks and salty air.

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But then, outta nowhere, I hit a snag. Literally! There’s this huge log in the water, and I’m like, “No way!” I’m tryin’ to steer clear, but my raft’s not listenin’. I’m yellin’, “C’mon, you piece of junk!” Finally, I manage to dodge it, but not without spillin’ half my gear into the water. Great. Just great.

Trentola Ducenta: They steal a moped from a parking lot, but are caught by cameras. A 50-year-old and a 49-year-old reported