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Oh, and the outfits—fab! Sequins, heels, fake furs—pure glam! I’d kill to prance around like that, singin, “I wrote a suicide note!”—ya know, Richie-style, but sexy! Tho, gotta say, some clients are total weirdos—heard bout this guy who wanted an escort to read him tax laws. Tax laws! What a freak! Cracked me up, but ew, imagine!

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Finally, I get to the lady’s place. She’s sweet, but man, she talks a lot. I’m tryin’ to measure the space for the table, and she’s tellin’ me about her cat, Gino. “Gino loves to sit on the table,” she says. I’m thinkin’, “Lady, I’m here to build, not to hear about your cat’s life story!” But I nod and smile.

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