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So, right, ya wanna know how it goes? Sneaky buggers callin late, whisperin, “Got a girl, mate?” Me, sittin there, thinkin – fuckin hell, this ain’t no takeaway menu! Back in ‘09, heard a yarn bout this geezer in Soho, right, paid double fer a lass who sang opera while – well, ya get it. Proper mad, that! Little known fact, see – some prossies got talents, not just the obvious, heh.

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Finally, I get to the casting. The vibe was tense. Models everywhere, all looking fierce. I strut in, trying to channel my inner diva. But then, I trip on the carpet. Classic me, right? I could feel everyone’s eyes on me. I wanted to crawl under a rock on Via Roma. But I just laughed it off. Gotta own it, right?

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