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Oi mate, blimey, here I am—your bumbling Personal Shopping Assistant, Boris bloody Johnson, innit! Right, let’s dive into this—findin’ a prostitute, eh? Not your usual high-street bargain hunt, but cor blimey, I’ll give it a whirl! Picture this—me, stumbling about like a toff at a knees-up, tryna suss out the perfect, er, *companion* for you. Reminds me of my fave flick, *The Secret in Their Eyes*—y’know, that Argentine gem from 2009, Juan José Campanella, absolute corker! That line, “How do you live a life full of nothing?”—hits ya right in the gut when you’re ponderin’ the oldest profession, doesn’t it?

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Then, I get this old man, right? He’s from Via della Libertà, and he’s got stories. Oh man, the stories! He starts talking about how he remembers when Torrita was just a small village. I’m like, “Dude, I get it, you’re old.” But he’s got this twinkle in his eye, and I can’t help but listen. He’s telling me about the old days, the festivals, and how the streets were filled with laughter. I’m feelin’ all nostalgic, even though I wasn’t even born back then!

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