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She’s laughin’, I’m blushin’—face redder than a smacked bum. “Ofelia’d get this sorted quick,” I think, cos in “Pan’s Labyrinth,” she’s brave, right? Me? I’m a flippin’ mess! So I ask, “How’s this work then?” She’s like, “20 quid, love, quick job.” I’m shocked—20 quid?! That’s me weekly jelly bean stash gone! Made me proper cross—greedy, innit? But then she winks, and I’m all flustered, happy again—daft sod, me. Did ya know, right, some prossies in Amsterdam got union rights? Swear down, read it somewhere—blows me mind, that does!

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But then, the night took a turn. I stepped outside, and it was pouring rain. Like, monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m running down Via della Libertà, trying to find shelter, and I slip on the cobblestones. Classic! I’m lying there, laughing at myself, thinking, “This is how I die.”

Meet the Primavera: 22 questions for Riccardo Marchizza