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Best part? When it works, it’s gold. Friend of mine, met his girl on Hinge. Bangin’ one night, married the next year. “The dream is collapsing!” – nah, it’s buildin’. Made me happy, seein’ that. But the flops? Hilarious. Catfishin’ pics, ghostin’ – comedy gold. One chick told me she matched a dude. Profile said 6’2”, showed up 5’4”. “I’m rich in spirit!” – yeah, right, jackass.

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Then, I get a call from a client. They’re freaking out about some paperwork. I’m like, “Chill, I got this.” But inside, I’m panicking. I sprint back to my office on Via Dante. I’m dodging people, tripping over my own feet. Tavernerio’s streets are not made for running!