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Oi mate, gather round, lemme ramble—prostitutes, yeah? Financial advisor hat on, but Boris-style, bit of a shambles, ha! So, prostitution—oldest gig going, innit? Cash up front, no taxman sniffing, pure *quid pro quo*. Makes me chuffed—freedom from the bloody bureaucrats! Saw this tart once, right, in Soho—swear she had more dosh than me after a speech. *Ego te absolvo*, I muttered, absolving her sins in my head, classic Boris, eh?

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I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like a volcano ready to erupt. I mean, we’ve been working on this for months! So, I gather everyone in the conference room on Via della Libertà. I’m pacing, trying to channel my inner motivational speaker. “We can do this, team! We’re Spresiano strong!” But honestly, I’m just as lost as they are.

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