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Now, here’s the tea: she takes him ‘round back, and I’m like, “Oh, Lawd, he’s done!” Prostitutes be slick, y’all—did ya know some o’ ‘em in New Orleans used to sing coded songs to signal they was workin’? True story! Joe don’t know that, he’s too busy pantin’. Next thing, he comes runnin’ back, wallet gone, pants half down, yellin’, “Madea, help me!” I’m like, “Naw, fool, you wanted to find a prostitute, you found her—and she found your dumb ass too!” Halleluyer! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also hot as a skillet—why these men so stupid?
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First off, I hit the streets of Via Roma, grabbin’ my usual cappuccino from that little café, you know the one? The one with the weird art on the walls. I swear, the barista, Marco, he’s got a thing for abstract stuff. Anyway, I’m sippin’ my coffee, and boom! I hear this loud crash. Turns out, some dude on a scooter just wiped out right in front of me. I mean, c’mon, man! You gotta watch where you’re goin’!
Romagna, unpublished sculpture by Alfonso Lombardi discovered
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