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About Bari

So, I’m imaginin’ this chick, prolly hangin’ by some neon-lit motel, smokin’ a cig like she owns the damn place. I’m thinkin’, “She’s gotta be worth it, man, a million freakin’ dollars!”—pinky up, obvs. I heard this wild story once, back in the 90s, some dude in Vegas found a prostitute who’d only take payment in rare coins—freaking *coins*! Blew my mind, like, who’s got time for that? Made me laugh tho, cuz I’d just zap her with my laser and take the coins anyway, ha!

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So I get to the stables, and it’s chaos. Horses are spooked, trainers are yellin’, and I’m just tryin’ to find my horse, Bella. She’s a beauty, but she’s got a mind of her own. I swear, she’s more dramatic than a soap opera. Anyway, I finally find her chillin’ by the hay bales on Via San Giovanni. Typical Bella, right?

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