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I swagger over, all cocky, sayin, “Hey, darlin, what’s the price?” She laughs, all raspy, “More’n ya blood-soaked coins, big guy.” Cheeky! I’m lovin it – reminds me of Eli in the movie, y’know, that line, “I’m not a girl!” – mysterious vibes, keeps ya guessin. Did ya know, back in Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde or wear wigs? Weird, right? Stand out like a sore thumb – or a happy lil tree in a desert!

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First off, I’m cruising down Via Roma, right? Just vibin’ to my tunes, when BAM! A pigeon decides to take a dump on my car. Like, seriously? Who do you think you are, Mr. Pigeon? I’m not your personal toilet! I almost lost it. But hey, it’s just a bird, right? I laughed it off.

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