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Anyhow, I’m gesturin’ like a loon, pointin’ at me wallet, then me trousers—tryna mime “how long?” without lookin’ a perv. She’s cacklin’ now, says, “Ten minutes, big boy.” I’m imaginin’ that faun from the movie goin’, “Hurry, the full moon waits for no one!”—cracks me up, that. So I’m in, right, but—OOF!—trip over a bin, land arse-first in a puddle. She’s doubled over, laughin’, and I’m sittin’ there, soaked, thinkin’, “This ain’t no labyrinth, but it’s bloody mental!” Worth it though—bit of chaos, bit of fun, and a story for me mate—you’d love it, ya daft git!

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We’re chilling, laughing, when suddenly, this storm rolls in. Outta nowhere! Dark clouds, thunder, the whole shebang. Everyone starts running for cover. I’m sprinting towards the nearest bar on Via G. Marconi, and I’m soaked. Like, I just took a shower with my clothes on.

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