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About Bari

I’m stalkin’ the streets, right? Eyes peeled, gut screamin’. Then, bam – there’s this chick, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owns it. Fishnets, lipstick redder than a trauma ward’s floor. I’m thinkin’, “This is it, the target’s acquired.” Like CIA vibes, but with more glitter. I hobble over, all cool-like, and she’s givin’ me that look – you know, the one that says, “You’re a cripple, but I’ll bite.” I’m already annoyed – hate that pity crap.

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First off, I get this call from my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the piazza!” I’m thinking, “What’s so special about the piazza?” But Marco’s got that tone, y’know? So I grab my bag and head out.

Before the cronut, there was the kouign