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About Bari

Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, authoritative as hell—YOU SHALL NOT PASS!—and I’ve got thoughts on findin’ a prostitute, right? Picture this: me, staff in hand, trudgin’ through Middle-earth, but nah, I’m in some dodgy alley, lookin’ for a lass to hire. Why? Cos sometimes even wizards need a break, innit? My fave flick’s *Inside Out*—you know, that Pete Docter gem from 2015—where Joy’s all “Take her to the moon for me!” and Sadness is draggin’ her feet. That’s me, searchin’ for a prossie, emotions all over the shop.

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But wait, there’s more! Just as I’m admiring my work, the power comes back on. Lights flicker, and I’m like, “YES!” But then, I hear a loud crash. I rush outside, and there’s a car accident right on Via Cristoforo Colombo. No one’s hurt, thank goodness, but traffic is a mess. I’m standing there, shaking my head.

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