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About Catania

Ever hear about Amsterdam’s red lights? Wild stuff—girls in windows, like livin’ mannequins. Tourists gawkin’, jaws droppin’. Been around since the 1300s—sailors rollin’ in, pockets fulla coins. Little fact for ya—keeps it legit there, unionized even! Here? Pfft, it’s a crapshoot—cops bustin’ ya, or worse, some pimp with a switchblade. “The land is dry,” like Denis says—empty promises, man.

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First call comes in at 8 AM. Some dude on Via Roma is freaking out. His cat, Micio, is stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Bro, it’s a cat, not a rocket scientist.” But he’s all panicky, so I’m trying to calm him down. “Just shake some treats, man!” I say. He hangs up, and I’m left wondering if Micio’s gonna be the next feline astronaut.

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