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Ruh-roh! I’m ramblin’—brain’s bouncin’ like a rubber bone! Imagine me sidlin’ up, all “Hey, lady, got a deal?” She’d probs laugh—Scooby ain’t smooth, yo. “You’re a dead man, Joey!”—nah, just kiddin’, that’s movie talk! But srsly, it’s a hustle, a grind—some girls choose it, some don’t. Makes me growl thinkin’ bout the don’ts. Exaggeratin’ here, but feels like half the world’s blind to it!

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Finally, I get to the office on Via Garibaldi. My boss, Mr. Rossi, is already in a mood. He’s like, “Where have you been?” I’m like, “Dude, I just fought a battle with a coffee cup!” But he doesn’t care. He’s all about those numbers.

Eva Marie Barr